That’s the Power of Love – Be Careful How You Use It

The power of love to do good and increase our well-being and happiness is well documented in both the Bible and psychological science. Dr. George Vaillant, the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, summed up the findings of this eighty-year-plus study in one sentence: “Happiness is love: full stop.” Many Biblical scholars believe that if you sum up the Bible in one verse, it would be John 3:16, “For God so loved the world….” (KJV) Jesus, when asked what the greatest commandment was, said, “First, love God with all your heart, mind, and strength. Second, love your neighbor as yourself.” It is irrefutable. Love is critical to both serving God and to fully experiencing happiness.

One Sunday morning, our pastor introduced a thought I had not considered before. The scripture he referenced was 1 John 2:15. “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” (KJV) This is a well-known verse. When I heard or studied this verse in the past, I focused on not loving the world because the world is terrible. In Christian vernacular, when we talk about “the world”, we mean the values, priorities, desires, and ways of living that work apart from God and oppose God; things like materialism, greed, immorality, dishonesty, hatred, rebellion against God. Truly, we do not want to love these things since they oppose God. However, our pastor pointed out that the key thing to understand about this verse is not how evil the world is, but how powerful love is. Love is so powerful that we must be careful where we direct it and what we choose to love.

This prompted me to look at what modern psychological and sociological studies say about this idea. As expected, modern studies confirmed this ancient Biblical truth.

One problem in English is that the term “love” can be ambiguous. I love my wife. I love jazz music. I love pizza. I love the Denver Broncos. We use the same word, love, but it can mean very different things depending on context. For this reason, sociologists and psychologists rarely use the word love in their research. Instead, they use phrases such as excessive attachment, idealization, or idolization to describe the negative effects of affection or the importance placed on someone or something.

Many studies confirm the negative effects of misplaced love. For example, I Timothy 6:10 says, “the love of money is the root of all evil.” (KJV) Notice that it does not say that money is the root of all evil, but rather that the love of money is. The 2024 study, “Valuing Versus Having: The Contrary Roles of Valuing and Having Money and Prestige on Well-Being” by Pfund, Willroth, Mroczek, and Hill found that while possessing money can benefit well-being, placing high importance on money often undermines well-being. It makes sense that having enough money to meet your basic needs matters, but placing too much emphasis on money can lower well-being and happiness. Loving money will make you less happy, not more.

Another study is from 1993 by Tim Kasser and Richard Ryan; “A Dark Side of the American Dream: Correlates of Financial Success as a Central Life Aspiration.” This study showed that individuals who placed more importance on money and wealth were typically associated with poorer psychological adjustment and well-being. This study and many others show that at very low-income levels, money can improve people’s lives, but once basic needs are met, excessive attachment to money and material wealth leads to lower life satisfaction.

One of the most tragic and troubling examples of misplaced love is the events of August 1969, when followers of Charles Manson brutally murdered seven people in a two-night period and were suspected of murdering others earlier that year. Known as the “Manson Family,” around 100 people, mostly young women, followed and idolized Charles Manson. When questioned, many members described Manson as someone who they loved, trusted, and regarded as a father figure and spiritual leader. This “love” for their leader had devastating consequences and led to seven followers being arrested, convicted, and sentenced to life sentences in prison. One member was paroled after serving 50 years. The others are still in prison or have died in prison, including Charles Manson himself.

Psychologists have written extensively about the Manson family and speculated on how those terrible events could have occurred. It is too simplistic to say, “Manson’s followers loved him, so they committed murder.” However, the love that the followers had for Manson was the first step that eventually led to murder. Love and acceptance → Belonging → Emotional dependency → Unquestioning loyalty → Loss of independent judgment → Distorted morality → Murder

Love may be the most powerful force in the world. Both science and Scripture affirm its importance to our happiness, well-being, and relationship with God. But love is more than a feeling. We express love through our choices and demonstrate it through our actions.

What we love shapes what we value. What we value determines our priorities. Our priorities guide our decisions, and our decisions ultimately determine the direction of our lives.

Love can inspire extraordinary kindness, generosity, and sacrifice. But as history has shown, misplaced love can also lead to obsession, blind loyalty, and even terrible acts of cruelty. The strength of our love does not guarantee good consequences.

That is why it matters so much where we direct our love. We may not always choose what attracts us, but we can choose what we nurture, what we pursue, and what we allow to become most important in our lives.

That’s the power of love; be careful how you use it.